The Principality of Saint Croix and Bens is a colossal, cultured nation, ruled by William Urskabau with a fair hand, and notable for its keen interest in outer space, compulsory military service, and triple-decker prams. The hard-working, democratic, devout population of 7.304 billion Saint Croix and Bensians enjoy a sensible mix of personal and economic freedoms, while the political process is open and the people's right to vote held sacrosanct.

The relatively small, outspoken government juggles the competing demands of Education, Welfare, and Defense. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Saint Elmenau. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 17.4%.

The very strong Saint Croix and Bensian economy, worth 528 trillion guilders a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Pizza Delivery industry, with major contributions from Book Publishing, Automobile Manufacturing, and Information Technology. Average income is 72,309 guilders, with the richest citizens earning 8.9 times as much as the poorest.

The government has declined to declare any particular religion as its 'official' one, large-girthed charity workers assign themselves healthy wages for their work with starving children, students at universities think exercise bikes are pieces of abstract art, and foreign spirits are hard to find due to an abundance of "Cletus and Jim Bob's Homemade Saint Croix And Bensian Moonshine". Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown. Saint Croix and Bens's national animal is the leopard, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation.

Saint Croix and Bens is ranked 38,835^th in the world and 30^th in Coalition of Crown Albatross for Nicest Citizens, with 17.69 average smiles per day.